It’s the first night of Chanukah!

Chanukah is my favorite holiday I never celebrate. Part of my negligence is that I’m only 1/2-Jew, therefore I only care about 50% — enough to make me go, “Ooh, Chanukah,” but not enough to will the double bacon cheeseburger away from my face.

Luckily, the 1/2 of me that does my taxes on time is in a festive mood today. Today, I wish my fellow half-Heebs a Happy 1/2-Chanukah.

Light the menorah, Sean Penn!

Spin that dreidel, Lisa Bonet!

It’s the festival of lights, Oliver Stone!

I believe in miracles, too, Paula Abdul!

That’s a whole lotta latkes, Geraldo Rivera!

All living proof that the Jews don’t control Hollywood. (Only 1/2 of it.)


  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Michael Showalter, Roz B., Sasha, Laffster, Annie Caldwell and others. Annie Caldwell said: RT @mshowalter: It's Chanukah! […]

  2. Chewbacca?

  3. Chaka Khan?

  4. Happy 1/2 Chanukah to the 1/2 of you that’s going to hell! (JOOOKKIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!)

  5. Happy Chanukah from Tel Aviv, Israel!

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