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THE MR. FUNNY PANTS TOUR, By Michael Showalter

New York, Philly, Boston, Seattle, Portland, Denver and everywhere in between. Come visit me for an evening of storytelling; joke telling; and of course, graphic sexual imagery.

Catch me this February and March in a city near you as I promote my brand new book (that I wrote!), MR. FUNNY PANTS!

New York!
Philly!
DC!
Boston!
San Diego!
LA!
San Fran!
Seattle!
Portland!
Denver!
Omaha!
Minneapolis!
Chicago!
Toronto!
Raleigh!
Atlanta!

I’ll be signing books at your cities’ bookstores by day and performing live around town by night.

Sharpie these dates to your calendars, and stay tuned for more info.

And stay gold, Ponyboy. (That’s from a book, too!)

PS MR. FUNNY PANTS hits shelves February 24, but you can pre-order now! Here, here, and also here!

Doodle Monday: Football, Tennis

LeBron Returns!

Cleveland’s real riled up about the Cavs-Heat match-up tonight. REAL riled up. Apparently the city’s still miffed that LeBron ditched Ohio for palm trees and sunny weather, and, oh yeah, lots and lots of moneys and gold and shiny objects.

The pithy t-shirt industry is going CRAZY! “Queen James,” “LeQuitter,” “Cleveland Never Quits.” These are all fine. But I think I can do better.

PITHY LEBRON SHIRTS, by Michael Showalter

If only ALL million-dollar ideas were this easy!

Chanukah!

It’s the first night of Chanukah!

Chanukah is my favorite holiday I never celebrate. Part of my negligence is that I’m only 1/2-Jew, therefore I only care about 50% — enough to make me go, “Ooh, Chanukah,” but not enough to will the double bacon cheeseburger away from my face.

Luckily, the 1/2 of me that does my taxes on time is in a festive mood today. Today, I wish my fellow half-Heebs a Happy 1/2-Chanukah.

Light the menorah, Sean Penn!

Spin that dreidel, Lisa Bonet!

It’s the festival of lights, Oliver Stone!

I believe in miracles, too, Paula Abdul!

That’s a whole lotta latkes, Geraldo Rivera!

All living proof that the Jews don’t control Hollywood. (Only 1/2 of it.)