Comments on: The World Cup

By: Kitty

Kitty — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:43:07 +0000

I’m so glad to see you’ve finally accepted the idea of hate mail.

By: Jaime

Jaime — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 00:22:45 +0000

Now why has it taken you forever to blog, and then when my back was turned, you passed a huge blog log, and I’m JUST NOW seeing it! Thank you for the blogs!

My suggestion: Keep doing that.

Not the waiting part. The writing part. i.e. Keep it coming Showalter, keep it coming. Because I am with you man. Hockey’s the same way, but at least you have savage writhing fighting at the drop of a hat. Keeps you glued. Soccer has cartwheels. What? Cartwheels??? Cartwheels! Cartwheels. Cart. wheels.

By: Come migliorare il mondiale

Come migliorare il mondiale — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 14:14:25 +0000

[...] The State e del finto talk show, The Michael Showalter Showalter, su collegehumor.com) in questo articolo. Prova che, anche se non ne sanno niente, quando gli americani prendono in giro il calcio, lo fanno [...]

By: RB Sauce

RB Sauce — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:07:10 +0000

I’m back, and still mad. I’m not really mad, because I’m a robot, but I’m somehow still able to have strong feelings for soccer. Feelings of love. Love of the game. Why? Because I have ADD and no other game can keep my attention besides soccer and hockey. You know why? Constant movement yo. Continuous play. Everyone is doing something all the time!

And Americans are so concerned with high scores, they don’t even realize they’re totally getting jipped. How long does a baseball game or football game last? One million hours. How many actual minutes does something happen? Pro football-like 15 minutes. Baseball-it’s too slow a game to keep track of so I don’t care. Soccer is fun and exciting because you don’t know if and when a goal will be scored. It’s a game you have to watch every second because things are always happening. I know that’s hard for people to handle when they don’t have sufficient breaks of action to go to the bathroom and make a sandwich, which makes me a little sad inside even though that’s impossible because I’m a robot.

Maybe the refs suck, but refs always suck. I’m pretty sure they’re just there to cause conflict. Who doesn’t love a good riot?

As for the announcers, why listen to them? They’re all talk and no action. They’re like annoying ass parents on the sidelines of their kid’s game acting like they know what’s up when they really should just shut-up. I can figure it out myself bitches!

Now the coaches, I think they’re adorable as is. Although, a funny hat never hurt anybody. Except once…but that’s for another time.

Shoot! Pass! Kick some…grass? NO! THE BALL!

I’m drunk. I’m sorry.

By: BklynGal

BklynGal — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 14:35:26 +0000

Completely concur: I can watch the Cup if I’m also doing something else way more exhilarating: reading, playing shuffle board (kind of like curling), watching paint dry on the wall behind the tv.

By: RB Sauce

RB Sauce — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 16:58:20 +0000

I am so mad at you right now! I would express my anger through written words right now if I could but I can’t. Later. Just wait for it. I’m giving you some time to prepare yourself for my angry wrath. It won’t be that angry because I’ll probably be sleepy.

By: Raina

Raina — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 22:40:17 +0000

I like curling a lot.

By: Camille

Camille — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 21:04:58 +0000

Has this category always been the Humor Hotel? Keep on, but I sure miss movie reviews.

By: Herbert Valdsaar

Herbert Valdsaar — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 03:52:32 +0000

I fully share your frustration with low soccer
scores. Highly skilled athletes rush around for two
hours for one miserly goal or none at all. That is
boring. My suggestion is to keep two balls in play
simultaneously. Imagine the richness of combinations. Call it TWO-BALL SOCCER : a novel
contribution of America to a global sport.

By: Sid Gerling

Sid Gerling — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 17:50:30 +0000

Your views on soccer are also lame. You moan about low scores. A low scoring game, in any sport, shows a strong defense. If the goal were much larger then it would require less skill to hit it. You also mention the need for “acting awards”. What about the football clowns that do some idiotic dance when they score a touchdown ? What about the basketball jerks that hang and swing on the hoop like chimpanzees on steroids ?

By: Konnor

Konnor — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 17:27:25 +0000

World cup players probably don’t score more goals because there are also pro defenders and pro goalkeepers. It’s not just pro scorers playing against a bunch of 12 year old girls! Its way harder to score when everybody you play is very skilled!

By: Kristina

Kristina — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 14:07:57 +0000

I second what Reen has to say.

By: Reen

Reen — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 13:14:11 +0000

Hi Michael. Hey, I never watched one minute of the World Cup but enjoyed your take on it. However, I respectfully submit that *everyone* should wear funny hats.

Happy 4th.

By: Dennis

Dennis — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 06:26:23 +0000

Did you know my spanish teacher from sophomore year of high school played in the world cup? He played alongside Pele!

By: Michael Showalter » THE WORLD CUP | The World Cup in South Africa

Michael Showalter » THE WORLD CUP | The World Cup in South Africa — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 05:03:05 +0000

[...] here: Michael Showalter » THE WORLD CUP Related postsDownload 2010 Fifa World Cup South Africa For The Nintendo Wii And …World Cup [...]

By: Camille

Camille — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 01:46:56 +0000

oh,how I wish I was into sports just to join in the conversation. Alas, I am not. But if you want to tawk cats and coffee….I’m here for the taking!

By: Adía

Adía — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 00:58:30 +0000

Basketball players over exaggerate their injuries as much as soccer players do

By: mike

mike — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 00:57:47 +0000

funny though that this is the world cup. The world is taking part and yet again people mock America because they keep their sports to themselves. Mock all you want…. but again WORLD CUP. Everyone but you…,.

By: Sean

Sean — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 00:15:16 +0000

The falling is the thing that sets soccer back. I can smell the bullshit through the TV.

By: Ross

Ross — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 00:10:12 +0000

You’re just not watching hard enough!

By: Bobby

Bobby — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 22:45:12 +0000

Nailed it.

By: Darren Robinson

Darren Robinson — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 22:44:05 +0000

I couldn’t agree more. Especially about the funny hat suggestion.