12 Comments

• heavyness
  Posted September 16, 2008 at 7:09 pm

  and i thought you were kidnapped by the Russians or something. glad you fixed whatever you fixed.

• Lo
  Posted September 16, 2008 at 8:08 pm

  Michael! Welcome back! Sincerely!

• Airika (solidgold!)
  Posted September 17, 2008 at 10:27 am

  showalter! where have you been all my life & why dont you come to jacksonville, fl for some stand up good times? All we have is that dinosaur jerry seinfeld coming to town in October. i miss me some stella, one season is woefully insufficient.Also, please bring grizzly bear to play “easier” for me.

• Reen
  Posted September 17, 2008 at 8:14 pm

  OMG it’s YOU! Welcome back. All is forgiven.

  Now. Feed us.

• Camille
  Posted September 17, 2008 at 10:05 pm

  I’m sorry,but do I know you?

• Courtney
  Posted September 18, 2008 at 12:24 am

  I trust none of this. Fixed? Just what some creature pretending to be Michael *would* say. You’re going to pull of your skin and you’re actually one of the aliens from V. I’m calling it now.

• Therese
  Posted September 18, 2008 at 2:20 am

  I literally thought you were dead.

  Welcome back, old bean!

• chas
  Posted September 18, 2008 at 4:47 pm

  Dear Mr. Showalter,

  My name is Chas and I’ve been earnestly pursuing a relationship with a wonderfully hot woman named Blair. Recently, however, her feelings for you have come to light despite her attempts to remain blase when we watch Stella. The following is a recent correspondance. Because I am awesome (and don’t stand the slightest chance against you) you should look her up…

  Subj: i knew it was just a matter of time…
  Between Blair and You

  Chas

  Today at 10:28am
  before you realized you loved another. i have no other option but to start my own blog and share my own satirical webicisms.

  oh, the heartbreak.

  your speedbump,
  chas

  Blair
  Today at 12:39pm

  Seriously, though. Aren’t YOU a little in love with him too? He’s hilarious, and did you read his top 41 songs on the tour page? You and he would be very good friends, right?

  Love!
  Blair

  Chas
  Today at 1:38pm
  i like him fine i guess….

  i mean, it’s just that i get the feeling that i think i would get if i ever met an ex’s boyfriend who was smarter, cooler, funnier, or more attractive than i.

  it hasn’t happened yet, but i think that this is exactly what it would feel like. i don’t want to like him out of sheer jealousy and under any other circumstances we’d be fast friends, but it puts me in an awkward position. how do i love you, knowing that you love someone so much awesomer than myself? damn it.

  this isn’t going to work out is it? i mean, there’s just no way that you and i could ever have a meaningful, lasting relationship when we both know that this guy is out there, kicking my ass in every cool ass category…and doing so when he doesn’t even know we’re competing for your heart? i’m never using the interweb again. why, o lord, did you ever let al gore invent the interweb?!?!

  i’m going to be the better man, blair. i have to be. there’s no other option. i’m setting you free because i love you and you deserve better. you deserve michael showalter. i’m emailing the aforementioned funnyman as you read this to let him know he’s won your heart. it’s humiliating but it’s the right thing to do.

  you can still come to dinner if you want. i just hope i can hold myself together.

  love always,
  chas

  Blair
  Today at 3:49pm

  Could you please email him? I really need an in! This would be a perfect way to get a conversation started with him AND I wouldn’t seem desperate.

  Thanks for understanding. :)

  Blair

• Frodo's Lair
  Posted September 19, 2008 at 1:02 am

  This whole time I was fearing for your health and well being. I’m so glad you have returned! Welcome back to the fray, please stay and never go away! (Hey, that rhymes!)

• Jaime
  Posted September 29, 2008 at 11:11 am

  Yaaay! I am ecstatic with joy. And, hey wait! I recognize some cool broads in here too :) Wow. I think I am feeling that bliss stuff all those bald dudes in orange robes keep quacking on about.

  My life (sadly) just got twice as awesome. Yaaaay!!

  p.s. Your mention of Sia at your Austin show in February totally got me hooked on her. Thank you! Yaaay, I am so happy! (Is that sad? It’s sad, right? Oh well. I’m happy. Don’t care if it’s sad.)

• Jessica
  Posted September 29, 2008 at 8:39 pm

  I’m SOOOOOOOOOO happy you are back!

• chas
  Posted November 21, 2008 at 2:36 am

  so, look michael…

  blair is single. i’m going to be awfully upset if you don’t give her a shot. what’s it gonna hurt? she’s got the market cornered on cute AND funny. i’m doing you a major league favor. so, do it. DO IT OLD MAID!

  -chas