April 2, 2008
Bob Tried to Act Calm But He Was Very Nervous About the First Day at His New Job. Of Course He Was Totally Over Qualified for the Position but Many of His Co-Workers Were Younger Than He Was and He Worried That He’d Feel Like a Man “out of Time”. the Gift Card Industry Had Changed Dramatically Since His “Wunderkind” Days As a Young Man in His 20’S. Life Had Happened to Bob in the Interim and He Wondered if He Still Had “It” Where Gift Cards Were Concerned. Secretly He Suspected Maybe His Magic Was Lost.
14 Comments
Your doodle descriptions are, in fact, adorable.
You’ll never lose your doodling magic, Michael.
This made me gigglesnort. Perfect caption!
I’m not sure I’d trust an employee that was so shifty-eyed.
Aw shucks! Here I sit in Greensboro, NC & you’ve got a show in Asheville, right now. I should pay more attention to the “upcoming events”. Hopefully you’re cracking up all the hippies from Boone. Don’t be a stranger to Nawth Cak-a-lacka we’ve got much love for you here!!
Dance Party Blues (Stephen Hawking is a Fucking Nerd)
you should not get discouraged about your dance party. Some of the world’s greatest minds have had doubts about thier dance parties. I remember when stephen hawking first was diagnosed with lou gherics’s decease and everyone said a guy in a wheelchair could not throw a dope, phat, or even a party that had any kind of flow of any kind. Stephen became very uptight and hostile anytime anyone got even close to his brand new Commodore Amiga that was blasting out an eclectic variety of classic yet still fresh songs and was described by most party goers to be super anal. Stephen eventually got tired of everyone talking trash about his anal D.P.(dance party) and called up fate, his favorite online monopoly friend and decided that they were going to throw the greatest dance party of all time where not one person would NOT be dancing at any time. A non stop danceathon. Stephen called up his mom and asked her for more money so he could pay his utility bill and send it by fedex. He got the money the next day and immediately took it over to kinkos to make the greatest dance party flyers of all time. Of course his friends were priority so he gave the flyers first to his real live friends, then he gave them to his internet friends, then people he has superficial relationships with like that fat girl who is really sassy and has sex with everyone even though she is fat, then to strangers, and a few to some scary some what attractive homeless people to give the dance party that edge it needs. When the day of the self titled “Nothing But Dance Party”, rolled around stephen knew it would be awesome. Everyone showed up to the party. It was the talk of the town. Even the scary homeless people showed up and everyone was commenting how real and scary they appeared. As soon as stephen started the music which he had meticulously selected over the past month instead of going to his lame internship everyone knew there was no going back. Everyone must dance and never stop. This was the Nothing But Dance Party. Everything was going well thought stephen as he made sure no one spilled drinks on his Amiga. Everyone is dancing, not one person is sitting… and then Stephen realized the issue that he had not confronted since being confined to a wheelchair. Not only was he not dancing, he couldn’t dance. Soon everyone looked at him and realized the man who put together the Nothing But Dance party was the only one who could sabotage it. How ironic? Stephen knew he had a choice to make, he could either live in a world of make believe and roll himself on the dance floor and roll his chair back and forth and pretend he was actually dancing and look like a retarded cripple or he could roll himself in front of a bus and end the suffering of his no-dancing body. Stephen knew what he must do. To save the Nothing But Dance Party and spare everyone the awkwardness of having to pretend that his rolling back and forth in his wheelchair was dancing he rolled himself in front of a bus that he knew was specifically being driven by a guy whom he knew hated handicaped people. Stephen’s body was pulvarized and stephen’s body did in death what it so longed to have done in life. It danced for fifty feet down the street and then lay lifeless which wasn’t that big of a change since he was already a cripple. Once Stephen had saved the party by killing himself he became an instant dance party legend. The party went on to become the greatest dance party ever. Everyone danced thier best moves while being guilt free now that the cripple was gone. The party even made the news the next day when it was learned that fat slutty sassy girl was killed by one of the scary some-what attractive homeless guys later in the night. By the way this stephen hawking should not be confused with the stephen hawking who is famous for physics. Two completely different people. That hawking is a total nerd.
Why no new doodles? I guess you’ve been busy lately so I’ll let it slide, but just this once.
I hate it when you break up with someone and days and weeks and hours pass by and you are fine but then BAM you are on the street and you see your ex with the NEWEST lover and the bitter thoughts of how much of a rotten loser said-ex was gets replaced with the angst of how said-ex will NEVEr bestow latest lover with all the dumb bullsm@ck that said-exlover dumped unto you….right? and your gut just gets all curly but not all shirley temple-black cute but just twisted and disheveled and painful instead. barfs.
ugh. relationships. can you doodle some understanding on that my way please?
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that was quite a ride just now.
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did anyone listen to that hiphop mp3?
reminds me of something between edward gorey and mad magazine. me likey.
mr. showalter, you’ve done it again.