I love spin. My favorite thing about watching these elections is seeing all the new and inventive ways that candidates spin negatives into positives. In particular, the Romney campaign’s use of Olympics metaphors. When Romney comes in second they say he “won the silver medal.” True, in the Olympics, winning a silver medal is a good thing. In political campaigns however, second place is losing. Anything less than winning, in an election, is losing. If he comes in third will they say he won “the bronze”? How do you brag about that? Not even athletes want the bronze. They have also keep mentioning that they “took gold” in Wyoming. In Olympic terms that’s like winning a gold medal in the steeple chase. Or to put it another way - no one cares. I hope Romney uses more Olympics metaphors. For instance, instead of saying that he wants to “provide better health care”, he could say, “I love the luge.” Or if he wants to say that he “wants a better eductation system” he could say, “Anyone wanna do a quick 440 meter relay race?” Instead of saying that he wants to “lead America” he could say “Ski jump is fun for me to do.” This is to say nothing of the fact that his name is Mitt. Mitt? What were the other names his parents considered naming him? Glove? Pouch? Duffel Bag? Purse? Steam Trunk? As it turns out his real name is, I believe, Willard. In other words, his name is dorky. His nickname is dorkier. What’s his middle name Eggbert? “Ladies and Gentelmen, I give you the new President of The United States of America Willard “Mitt” Romney! I don’t see it.
-
Categories
-
Archives
Friends
9 Comments
my name is always bringing me down
Allow me to quote from the cinematic masterpiece “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”:
If you ain’t first, you’re last!
I am just pleased as punch that you’ve returned to blogging on here.
I think that Willard “Mitt” Romney was actually the President of the 2002 Winter Olympics.
Maybe his middle name is English.
amazing! thank you!
How do you get “Mitt” from “Willard”? Wouldn’t “Witt” make more sense, and subconsciously make people like you more?
“He was named Willard after hotel magnate J. Willard Marriott, his father’s best friend. Mitt, his middle name, comes from his father’s cousin Milton Romney, who played quarterback for the Chicago Bears from 1925 to 1929.”
wikipedia knows everything.
“Glove? Pouch? Duffel Bag? Purse? Steam Trunk?”
Enema bag?
Just throwin’ that out to the wind.(bag)Windbag,windbag!
I need meds.
Well, whoever wins had better have an ass wide enough to have our British Prime Minister’s head inserted in it on a regular basis…