Sasquatch Music Festival

This weekend I was in George, Washington to take part in the Sasquatch Music Festival. Now, when I say in George, Washington I don’t mean that I was actually in George Washington the first president of the United States. That would be impossible and, moreover, kind of gross. No, I was in George, Washington. George is a place and Washington is a state.

I was there to be a “host” at the Sasquatch Music Festival. A piddly little festival, no big names you’ve ever heard of: Bjork, Arcade Fire, Beastie Boys, Bad Brains, Spoon, Interpol, Grizzly Bear, Blackalicious, Neko Case. Like I said, no big names, a piddly little festival. ONLY THE BEST FUCKIN’ BANDS IN THE UNIVERSE! I saw tons of great music. The highlights were Bjork and Arcade Fire: them being two of my favorite artists/bands ever. I saw some great newer bands too: St Vincent, Viva Voce, The Blow, in particular struck my fancy.

They had me, Aziz Ansari and Sarah Silverman hosting different stages. Aziz and I were hosting the smaller stages and Sarah was hosting the bigger one. We thought we’d be there to tell some jokes but it didn’t really work out because once one band had struck their shit and the next band had set up it was time to keep going. I could have told some jokes but it didn’t feel right. I tried it a little and it went ok but the stage manager cut me off. As it turned out I did a lot of, “How you guys doin’? You having fun? What’s up, Sasquatch!? This next band is from Canada! Let me hear you make some noise for Tokyo Police Club!!!!!!!!!” And then I’d walk off the stage and go watch the band.

The thing about doing comedy at a music show is that if there’s even one drunk guy in the crowd that doesn’t want to hear jokes it kinds of ruins it for me and I get really insecure. Typically he’ll go, “Let’s hear some fucking music!” and then I’ll stop in mid-sentence and be, like, “Okay” and then I just bring up the next band because I don’t mind being heckled at a comedy show because i know that most of the crowd is into it but at a music show I have no idea if they’re into it so I just stop and acquiesce to the drunk guy.

On the second day it was really cold and windy. Sarah left cause she was sick and Adam, the festival organizer, recruited me and Aziz to make announcements on the main stage which was like 15,000 people or something crazy like that. Aziz introduced me as Keith Showalter the founder and CEO of Honey Bucket port-o-potties, and there were hundreds of Honey Bucket port-o-potty’s everywhere. The crowd cheered for me. I felt like Mick Jagger, finally. Aziz asked me why we called them “Honey Bucket” and I said it was between “Honey Bucket” and “Doo-doo Box” and that “Honey Bucket” was more aesthetically pleasing of a name.

All in all I give the Sasquatch Music Festival an A+.

43 comments

  1. Sounds like a lot of fun and lots of great bands. If I was at a music festival I wouldn’t mind comedy at all but that’s just me. I can’t really speak for the drunk people out there though.

    By the way, that is why the english language has commas for stuff like “George, Washington”. So that way people don’t get confused.

    Glad you seemed to have had a great time and got to hang out with Aziz.

  2. i was going to go until i realized the festival was $75, gas is $3.29 for a gallon for a 5 hour drive, and you weren’t really going to be doing any comedy routines. bummed. but good to hear you had a blast! the gorge is probably the best place on the whole eastern side of washington. no joke. you are lucky.

  3. I was in Chicago this weekend, which is nowhere near George, Washington, or George Washington, for that matter.

  4. I actually thought you meant you were in “George Washington”, the seminal 2000 film by David Gordon Green. Specifically, I thought you were the little blonde girl. Clearly I was off base.

    Glad you had a super time at the festival despite any drunk hecklers. Bjork and Beastie Boys alone probably made up for any emotional trauma you may have suffered.

    -zoe

    PS: Also, please ignore my scathing “That Michael Showalter is no Dakota Fanning” thread on the “George Washington” IMDB page. Again, WAY off base.

  5. I wish I had been in George, Washington. Or Showalter, MIchael….wait what? Nothing.

    Sounds like a blast. GREAT bands. Altho I would have been pretty salty if you were hosting and didn’t have a lot of stage time… after all, you are the Doo-Doo Box King.

  6. I was wondering if Sarah was even there – I never saw her once! You and Aziz were awesome though…I remember watching you wait to introduce Money Mark and I was all excited cause I thought I was going to hear some jokes. I realize now though that that crowd would be super hard to play to (they booed Aziz the day before).

    Thanks for stopping for a picture with me, by the way. But I have to say your management of the amount of poo in Honey Buckets sucks!

  7. I was not in George, Washington. I however WAS in George Washington, which is a very long and pretty disgusting story I’ll save for another time. Obviously it involves tequila, Skittles, and a game of Scrabble gone horribly wrong.

    Your weekend sounds much better. I’ve never seen Bjork live and this upsets me verily.

  8. My buddy Bill Flynn’s band, St. Vincent played Sasquatch. Heard it was a good ass time. There was a Port-o-Pottie company on Cape Cod when I was growing up entitled “Sandcastles By The Sea”…very romantic.

  9. Dear God, Bjork’s show seriously made my mind explode. Arcade Fire too!! I was so happy to see you and Aziz on the main stage. Despite how much i really like Sarah Silverman, on day 1 she really wasn’t very funny. It must have been an odd experience for you guys to do what you did, with the drunks in the crowd and all. I was totally expecting to see more jokes!! But, you and Aziz were totally rad and heck, at least you got to see the most kick-ass line-up EVER, right?!

    And let me tell you, after 2.5 days camping out and using those Honey Buckets, i can confirm that “Doo-doo box” is a much more appropriate name.

    Much love, Michael!!

  10. Was it at the Gorge? How amazing is that place? As much of a hassle as it is to hike that giant hill in the heat, the view is astounding. It’s like one of those painting backdrops in old, cheap movies, because it’s hard to beleive it’s real.

    I haven’t been there since I moved from Seattle. Last time I was there I lost my shoe and then stepped in gum. You experience sounds better.

  11. I would burn down an orphanage and step on a puppy to see that festival

  12. I didn’t know you were a comedian. Cool.

    Saw Baxter last weekend. Very enjoyable. I laughed in all the right places.

  13. lol, there’s actually a city in washington named george. hahaha.

    BUT ANYWAY HOW WERE INTERPOL AND NEKO CASE (if you saw them)

  14. Crowds can be tough, but at least you got to be “Mr. Honey Bucket”. Wait—that seems like a weird euphemism for a woman’s nether region in relation to a nasty plastic poo box. Hmmmm… Food for though. Eh, nevermind. Glad you had fun! :)

    P.S. Sorry if you get a double comment. Myspace was giving me a hard time.

  15. Holy shit, Sho, you got some really kick ass music at the festival. I bet it sucked killing time between stage appearance.

    By any chance, was Joe Lotruglio being chased and eventually getting his ass kicked by any Sasquatch as he toted his bag of Jack Link’s beef jerky? OR did the Sasquatch even make an appearance to rock out with the revelers? Perhaps the Yeti and George Washington were spending most of the time kicking each others’ asses in the mosh pit?!

    Now on a much more serious note, Michael, you should not acquiesce to the drunkards. You should have given him a very polite “Fuck You!” and continued, thus inciting a riot of the mental defectives. Good publicity stunt, nonetheless, as I bet it would have at least ended up on YouTube.

    Any jokes about a loo in general are priceless. I concur with “Doo Doo Box”. Honey Bucket just sounds gross and what the hell is a “Job Johnny” anyway?

    In closing, I am hoping you ACTUALLY did not feel like Mick Jagger. I heard some pretty funky stories about him on Opie and Anthony this week with regards to some bizarre penis enlargement ritual in which he had taken part. I think it involved him spending time in the Amazon and applying various weights (and toting them around with him) to enlongate his appendage. Sounds unpleasant to me, but to each their own. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed your Mick Jagger moment. I was thinking more of a Bono or Sting. You remind me more of a one word moniker kind of guy.

    Anyway, see you in June.

  16. i’m definitely calling them doo doo boxes from now on
    you’re amazing, michael!

  17. Yeah you were really funny, haha i was staring at you the whole time, i diddnt mean to be creepy, its just weird seeing someone all the time on tv and movies, then all the sudden he’s just standing there watching the same concert as you.

  18. Did you get a chance to see Ghostland Observatory? If so, were they not mind blowingly awesome? If not, you have to see them as they are mind blowingly awesome! They are even coming to McCarren Park Pool in BROOKLYN on August 19th. It’s destiny! God is telling you, “See Ghostland Observatory.”

  19. Yay for you loving Arcade Fire, great band and they do a great show! Sweet job at the show, thanks for showing up in the dusty tan bland that is Washington. You better come to Portland or Seattle soon, I’ll be the drunken person yelling PLAY SOME FUCKING COMEDY!

  20. Neko Case and Interpol. And you, obviously. So jealous. But I suppose you see a lot of your shows. You probably have most of your bits memorized by now, and I’m sure it’s not as much fun for you.

  21. sho, you luckycrotch!! you got to see the Beasties live in concert. jealous? envious? yeah, i think i am.

  22. I really like your honeybucket joke. It’s like in the movie, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, when Tracy Ullman’s character is asked about the origins of her name, Latrine. She explains that it was changed over the years and used to be “Shithouse”. Of course I can’t tell jokes for shit, but I’m sure your delivery of your honey bucket joke was perfect.

  23. my best friend was there and i’m gonna smack the shit out of her for not mentioning that you were there.
    for fuck’s sake!!!!

  24. “Saw”? More like “heard”, amiright?

  25. Jokes pertaining to the storage of feces are always a good time.

  26. When you’re at a music festival where Interpol fans sporting wifebeaters and sun tattoos (you have to see it to believe it) are the norm, it probably is an uphill battle to do comedy.

    I really enjoyed your stuff and thank you very much for taking a picture with my girlfriend and I. It was the highlight of our trip. The post-festival trip to Denny’s wasn’t half bad either, though.

  27. What an awesome show! You should have been it the pit with us when Beastie Boys finally came on!!
    WOW, a famous comedian AND CEO of Honeybucket? You are THE SHIT! :-)~~

    Carmen

  28. If you like The Blow, you should listen to YACHT (1/2 of the Blow – Jona’s side project)

  29. If Bjork is one of your favorite artists, why did none of her songs make your Top “20″ list? Maybe an idea for a future blog could be how you select songs for your best list. That way you would not have to be reduced to posting your completed sudoku puzzles. I mean, come on, at least give us a crossword. By the way, you’re still great but thought you might like some tough love for a change instead of the usual sycophantic responses.

  30. I only saw you do the Heeb story-telling. You were funny and so was Aziz. But I also likd the grape juice and macaroons. Although now I’ve had my share of macaroons for about the next five years or so. Wish we all could have seen more of you out there! I was glad to catch what I did!

  31. i love the blow.
    the band, not the drug.
    okay, i used to like the drug, but we had a big falling out. i don’t want to talk about it.
    anyhow,
    kudos on having good taste in music.

  32. the blow’s dance moves are quite excellent

  33. I’d like to make sweet sweet swan-dress love to Bjork. And then maybe afterwards… having breakfast… sweet sweet swan-egg omelets… somehow that came out as some sort of creepy baby eating inuendo. I assure you this was my intention.

  34. Honey Bucket port-o-potties??? OMG, I’m gonna kick myself in the toot for not coming up with this name myself. I love it I love it I love it!!!!!

  35. wasn’t it cute when i made you sign my boob?

    (it wasn’t)

  36. i gave you an idaho potato pin.
    you were confused.

    maybe it will cameo in The Ten Two… (The Twenty?)

  37. This is exactly what I expected to find out after reading the title s Blog : SASQUATCH MUSIC FESTIVAL. Thanks for informative article

  38. hey you should listen to The Microphones. Phil Elverum makes albums, like real albums, and is good friends with The Blow.

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