I call this piece “Suduko: Blue Pen.”
I call this piece “Suduko: Blue Pen.”
I call this piece, “Sudoku: Wednesday 5/30/07”
This weekend I was in George, Washington to take part in the Sasquatch Music Festival. Now, when I say in George, Washington I don’t mean that I was actually in George Washington the first president of the United States. That would be impossible and, moreover, kind of gross. No, I was in George, Washington. George is a place and Washington is a state.
I was there to be a “host” at the Sasquatch Music Festival. A piddly little festival, no big names you’ve ever heard of: Bjork, Arcade Fire, Beastie Boys, Bad Brains, Spoon, Interpol, Grizzly Bear, Blackalicious, Neko Case. Like I said, no big names, a piddly little festival. ONLY THE BEST FUCKIN’ BANDS IN THE UNIVERSE! I saw tons of great music. The highlights were Bjork and Arcade Fire: them being two of my favorite artists/bands ever. I saw some great newer bands too: St Vincent, Viva Voce, The Blow, in particular struck my fancy.
They had me, Aziz Ansari and Sarah Silverman hosting different stages. Aziz and I were hosting the smaller stages and Sarah was hosting the bigger one. We thought we’d be there to tell some jokes but it didn’t really work out because once one band had struck their shit and the next band had set up it was time to keep going. I could have told some jokes but it didn’t feel right. I tried it a little and it went ok but the stage manager cut me off. As it turned out I did a lot of, “How you guys doin’? You having fun? What’s up, Sasquatch!? This next band is from Canada! Let me hear you make some noise for Tokyo Police Club!!!!!!!!!” And then I’d walk off the stage and go watch the band.
The thing about doing comedy at a music show is that if there’s even one drunk guy in the crowd that doesn’t want to hear jokes it kinds of ruins it for me and I get really insecure. Typically he’ll go, “Let’s hear some fucking music!” and then I’ll stop in mid-sentence and be, like, “Okay” and then I just bring up the next band because I don’t mind being heckled at a comedy show because i know that most of the crowd is into it but at a music show I have no idea if they’re into it so I just stop and acquiesce to the drunk guy.
On the second day it was really cold and windy. Sarah left cause she was sick and Adam, the festival organizer, recruited me and Aziz to make announcements on the main stage which was like 15,000 people or something crazy like that. Aziz introduced me as Keith Showalter the founder and CEO of Honey Bucket port-o-potties, and there were hundreds of Honey Bucket port-o-potty’s everywhere. The crowd cheered for me. I felt like Mick Jagger, finally. Aziz asked me why we called them “Honey Bucket” and I said it was between “Honey Bucket” and “Doo-doo Box” and that “Honey Bucket” was more aesthetically pleasing of a name.
All in all I give the Sasquatch Music Festival an A+.
Saw “28 Weeks Later” this weekend. It’s only eh. That’s my capsule review of it: “eh.” The first ten minutes are brilliant. I won’t give anything away other than that there’s a zombie attack. Then it seems like it’s going to get very interesting but there’s some plot problems which irritated me. Particularly that the main character’s zombie seems to have intelligence which is breaking the golden rule of zombies which is that they aren’t allowed to have intelligence. Zombies with intelligence aren’t zombies. Zombies with intelligence are stalkers like Freddy Kruger or Jason from “Friday the 13th.” Those dudes are zombies with intelligence. They have a game plan. Real zombies just want to kill anything that comes in their path. So, supposedly, the main character’s zombie in “28 Weeks Later” is, like, hunting for specific people which I find insulting to all zombie purists. There’s another big plot problem which i won’t get into other than to say that the whole movie hinges on something that didn’t make sense so about 3/4 of the way through the movie I realized that it was never to make sense and I realized that I was bored and left the theater with ten minutes still left and went to the bathroom and got paranoid that a zombie might attack me while i was taking a pee.