Anatomy of a Face

Sho Swoop

75 Comments

  • Danielle
    Posted January 23, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    I actually find it rather attractive.

  • Liv
    Posted January 23, 2007 at 3:44 pm

    Hey now, I’m in love with your nose. And I was born the year this photo was taken. Creepy…or totally hot? I think I’ll go with “totally hot.”

  • Frodo's Lair
    Posted January 23, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    Very hot…and I’m not talking temperature-wise, although you did look rather well-insulated :-)

  • Melinda
    Posted January 23, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    This looks like a cross between my mom and my brother and it’s creeping me out on many levels.

  • Camille
    Posted January 24, 2007 at 10:15 am

    That sweater looks itchy, hence the turtleneck layer. I think your mom just had your comfort in mind.
    No such thing as too many layers…mentally, that is.

  • Meera
    Posted January 24, 2007 at 10:41 am

    Now that is CUTE.

  • sarah
    Posted January 24, 2007 at 11:32 am

    Dude, we all looked like dorks in high school.
    About the schnoz — Embrace it, own it + you’ll feel better.
    Turtleneck — LLBean, Lands End or J.Crew?

    N.B. Your consistently conservative look saved you from far greater fashion sins.

  • Johnson
    Posted January 24, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    D:

  • Renee
    Posted January 26, 2007 at 12:03 am

    Yet ANOTHER reason I click with ya bro. Did the same thing to a pic of mine not too long ago. (Rhyme!)

    And you know what they say about guys with big noses and big feet dont you? Lets just say the theory doesn’t work well with women. It just means we’re ugly and junk.

  • Mark
    Posted January 26, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    Hey Michael-

    Wazzz up?!?! Study hall sux!!! Meet me in the school parking lot in 15 minutes. We can smoke cigarettes in my car and then go back to school and hassle the new substitute teacher, Mrs. Bubblebutt.

    Ha, I’m totally gonna call her that to her face!

    Okay, whatever. Got2Go. See ya around.

    P.S. Are we still bff? Do you like me?
    Circle one: yes no maybe

  • Posted January 26, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    I hate people who like/liked high school.

  • Geeta
    Posted January 26, 2007 at 9:54 pm

    I like NO I LOVE BIG noses.

  • Posted January 27, 2007 at 3:35 am

    You don’t even KNOW… big noses are awesome. So are layers. I love this picture!

  • Dixie
    Posted January 27, 2007 at 10:52 am

    I like Layers and Matchy Matchy clothes… and everyone loves big noses, go figure.

  • Posted January 27, 2007 at 1:06 pm

    I LOVE turtlenecks on a man, but all of those layers? Did you suffer heat stroke on Yearbook Picture Day?

    “Dumbo Ears” are a pain I know all too well…

  • Posted January 27, 2007 at 7:44 pm
  • Posted January 27, 2007 at 7:46 pm

    In case my image tag didn’t work, this is my senior picture:

    http://www.batemania.com/pix/senior.jpg

  • a very stoked nose fan
    Posted January 28, 2007 at 2:47 pm

    your nose was the first thing that made me think “here’s someone special” those long years ago when my friend showed me “Pizza” on his computer and I got my mind blown. It is a very good nose and you should love it and nurture it and name it and dress it up fancy.

  • Posted January 28, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    You look like you got that turtleneck from a turd store. In fact, that whole outfit screams, “I am turd ferguson, king of fat turds. And also I stink like turds.” In fact, that turtleneck isn’t even a turtleneck. It is a turd-leneck. I bet you grew up on Turd Street.

  • Victoria Steccato
    Posted January 31, 2007 at 4:10 am

    I saw this at your Union Hall show. “clothes way too matchy-matchy” was my favorite line, too.

  • jessica
    Posted February 1, 2007 at 5:23 pm

    I ditto what Geeta said. I LOVE big noses.

  • Jaq(off)
    Posted February 3, 2007 at 3:42 am

    yeah you look like a jerk off with your smug expression

  • Jordie
    Posted February 3, 2007 at 11:23 am

    matchy matchy?

  • Posted February 8, 2007 at 2:02 am

    I wouldn’t even be able to come up with such an outfit when I was in highschool or college. I applaud the amount of layers. I can imagine that you had the outfit laid out on your desk chair the night before, seductive.

  • Posted February 12, 2007 at 9:55 pm

    I just read that Ira Glass went to Brown and majored in Semiotics. Are you best friends with him?

  • mario
    Posted February 13, 2007 at 10:54 pm

    “matchy-matchy” like nina garcia said in project runway?
    she’s such a bitch, but omg she’s always right, right? i miss prject runway, and stella :(.

  • gobbledypoop
    Posted February 17, 2007 at 1:57 pm

    i think it’s so not matchy-matchy at all…in a good way! i’d say you had a certain “je ne sais quoi” i don’t know what eve back then…the thin stripes over bulky woolens thrown under Navy-issued water-repellent outerwear. Tres chic!

  • Art Critic
    Posted February 18, 2007 at 6:08 am

    It’s an interesting piece of art. The font choice gives it the feel of an almost… ‘in the moment’ type effect. As if the artist had these thoughts while getting his photo taken. The unique choice of filter leaves one with a sense of distortion, as if to try and cover the imperfections of ones youth. Overall it has a very universal effect, one that all can relate to, while at the same time making obvious comments about the imperfections… not witty, just straight forward. Thus adding a comical effect to the overall piece. I love it, submit it to an art museum.

  • bam!
    Posted February 19, 2007 at 8:44 pm

    hah you have some real lamewad fans pal! i forced you to unexpectedly give me a hug i think last month or so after that broin’ out show thing. i could tell youve done that probably 8 billion times before, but it was pretty good for me. the good luck is starting to run out though i think…i just fell down some stairs

  • lizzie
    Posted March 2, 2007 at 1:29 am

    I love turtlenecks!

  • Posted March 9, 2007 at 1:41 am

    I often ask myself, did my forehead grow that much since high school, or is my hair receding at some infintesimal rate. Or worse, what if it’s both?!? By the time I’m 80 my forehead will have pushed my hair to my ass and my face to my crotch and then I’ll be called Bulboushead Dickface Asshair by all the childrens. Prolly childrens that don’t even know me either. I’m depressed.

  • Posted March 14, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    You had me at Asshole Swoop Haircut

  • Posted March 15, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    write something funny

  • Posted March 17, 2007 at 3:13 am

    Mikie! Wainman and Mike Black told me to rag on you for not writing lately. Ok, not really. You caught me. But I’d like to think they would be pissed at you for not writing.

    Come on bro, we need some more of the good stuff!

  • Steven
    Posted March 21, 2007 at 10:29 pm

    I drunkenly listened to the Stella commentary yesterday. It was better than sex, or at least, the sex that I’m used to. The crying kind.

  • JW
    Posted March 23, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    I have to like someone whose nose is bigger than mine.

  • Camille
    Posted March 26, 2007 at 9:32 am

    I’m leaving another comment just because I can. I am that powerful.

  • Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:47 pm

    You do look like an asshole though.

  • Posted March 29, 2007 at 9:25 pm

    ts so trippy how much you look like a boy from down the street at the same age

  • Clanitra
    Posted April 1, 2007 at 5:11 am

    For ’86, you were very “in” though. If you lament that photo, you sort of have to despair of your whole preppie high school generation, don’t you?

  • Justin-gillett
    Posted April 10, 2007 at 2:48 pm

    you are George McFly

  • Posted April 12, 2007 at 10:01 pm

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  • Posted April 14, 2007 at 2:42 am

    You were cute in the 80′s! But weren’t we all? You don’t update this site very often. No wonder I never check it.

  • Posted April 22, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    your page says “update me! Update me pwetty pweez!”

  • OLARN
    Posted April 23, 2007 at 8:20 am

    STRAIGHT

  • Posted May 2, 2007 at 8:34 pm

    If you don’t update the blog soon I’m defecting to Michael Ian Black’s blog; and I will not be coming back. Alright I’ll probably come back from time to time but my visits will be markedly irascible.

  • Posted May 5, 2007 at 4:36 pm

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  • God
    Posted May 6, 2007 at 1:37 pm

    Dear Mr. Showalter,
    This is God. If you do not update your blog soon, I will be taking away your candy privileges. That means NO CANDY. And I can do that because I’m God! LOL! But seriously, no candy. srsly.
    Love, God.

  • Posted May 8, 2007 at 4:45 pm

    Come ON man.

  • Posted May 9, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    I’ve only been out of high school two years and already I hate those old photos… Of coarse, I hate new photos of myself too… I even appear in my own thoughts as an animated alter-ego of myself. Just feel confident in how pleased and/or creeped out your high school self would be knowing how many random, under-aged girls are in love with you now.

  • Posted June 14, 2007 at 2:40 pm

    hi all.

  • Andrea
    Posted July 1, 2007 at 6:53 am

    I’ve always loved the usage of “Matchy matchy” ….and the word plethera….oh yes! So Exciting!

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  • Posted July 10, 2007 at 1:17 pm

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  • Posted September 1, 2007 at 11:58 pm

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  • Eloise
    Posted October 6, 2007 at 1:43 pm

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  • Posted November 26, 2007 at 8:23 am

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  • Beak
    Posted January 22, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    That look may suit some, but if I wore an outfit like that at my school, I’d wind up bound and gagged in the girls’ toilet.

    …Actually, that may not be too bad !

  • George
    Posted February 1, 2008 at 11:46 am

    so this is what it looks like to be insulted… nice

  • Posted February 2, 2008 at 3:31 am

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  • bek
    Posted September 9, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    if there is anyone who, upon seeing some incarnation of their fifteen-year-old self, does not want to punch that awkward asshole in the face if just to toughen him up for the real shit he’s soon going to be dealing with, then that person is probably right about due for a good old life-lesson-imparting punch in the face RIGHT NOW.

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