20
Aug 06

Tour Day 5 – Anchorage, Alaska (cont’d)

This is Erik Braund. He’s the enterprising young gentelman/promoter/benefactor who brought The Comedy From Tomorrow out to Alaska. Erik is the redhead. The other gentelman is his friend from Denver who flew out to Alaska just to see our show.
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We did our show in a nice theater on the campus of University of Alaska. It had wonderful acoustics and a state of the art tech system. (I actually have no idea if that’s true but it sounds good.) Here’s a photograph of Eugene tekking. *Please note that I have the time embedded in the photo. This is significant because it stayed light out until close to midnight. Keep an eye out for embedded time.
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Out on the bustling metropolis of Anchorage. I went into a tourist shop and purchased a hundred bucks worth of T-shirts and sweatshirts. They have lots of bear related items in the tourism shops. Here’s Eug(ene) Mirman standing out on the street where the sweatshirt shops are.
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I saw this dude with a really fuckin’ huge plate of NACHOS! I had to take a picture.
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I had to get a closer shot. He was irritated by me and seemed like he was going to kick my ass and so after taking this photo of his HUMUNGOUS plate of nachos I high-tailed it outta there. (You can see his angry/twitchy little moustache twitching angrily in my direction.
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Anchorage is on the water. This is a picture of a boat floating on the water. (Pretty cool, huh?)
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This is another shot of the water. The temperature, btw, was pretty temperate. It was warm and hazy. Eugene and I walked to the water and had a look. (Zak and Leo were back in Portland eating sushi and thoroughly enjoying themselves.) We learned a few interesting things about Alaska.
1) In Alaska, they refer to the main part of the US as “The Bottom 48″. (Eg: minus Alaska and Hawaii.) They also call it, “The Contiguous United States.” Eugene made a joke at the show saying that he was excited to be doing a show at the, “Upper 1.”
2) Alaskans frequently go fishing for their dinner.
3) The government pays people an annual fee to live in Alaska.
Eugene and I had King Crab (a local delicacy.)
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Look at that! It’s like eleven pm or something in this photo. The sky was SILVER! In the summer it stays light out most of the day. There’s only 3 or 4 hours of darkness. It’s like that movie with Al Pacino “Insomnia.” It was really quite beautiful, but also strange and disorienting.
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Here’s another photo of it just cause it’s so cool.
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We attended a roof party. It’s 11:30pm or something like that.
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Here’s the view of the street from the roof. More natural beauty, blah, blah, blah.
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And then it kinda got dark.
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The End. (Alaska Overall Rating: 8.7; Alaska Show Overall Rating: 7.6; Alaska Nacho Size Overall Rating: 9.4; Alaska Light Most Of The Time Overall Rating: 9.3)


11
Aug 06

London Fog

I’m in London right now. I’m in the lobby of The Jury’s Inn Hotel on Something’ton Road. I’m waiting for cab to take me back to Heathrow. I’ve been here for just shy of a week on some family business. It was a lovely trip and I’m happy to be headed back to the states. I like how in such a short time you can get a read on a city. Here’s what’s shaking in London these last few days.

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1) The town is all a-buzz over the thwarted terrorist plot to bomb 10 airplanes and commit mass murder of an “unimaginable scale.” That’s one little thing that’s going on here.

2) Nikki, Lea, Mikey, and Grace were voted off of “Big Brother” but were then voted back on. Sort of. Well, okay, they were voted into a house next door to the “Big Brother” house and one of them will be voted back into the house. Mikey and Grace are hooking up. Mikey was also hooking up with Imogen when he was in the house. Now Imogen is one of the two housemates facing eviction (along with Ricky.) Everyone’s pissed because it cost money to vote the housemates off and now they’re bringing them back on the show. WTF!

3) David Beckham won’t be on the national team anymore. They’ve brought in a new head coach – Mclarren – and he’s making SWEEPING changes. Priority number one, Beckham is yesterday’s news.

4) The Royal phones are being tapped by a London tabloid. Members of Prince Charles’ inner-circle are having their conversation illegally surveilled by the press. It’s fucked up and everyone is pissed as hell about it.

5) A major crime involving a young boy who immigrated to London from Nigeria and who was fatally stabbed by two youths in a Peckham slum has come to a bittersweet end. The two youths, brothers last-named Preddie, who were 12 and 13 at the time of the crime, now 18 and 19, were convicted of manslaughter. This ends six grueling years of emotional trials.

6) Sir Paul McCartney locked Heather Mills out of their house and it embarassed her. It seems like their divorce won’t be amicable.

7) Brits loved food that is “potted.”

8) Starbucks has fully invaded London and I was a prime benefactor.

9) All the pubs have names that follow a formula which is gross word+noun Examples: The Slimy Badger, The Grody Onion, The Scabby Pirate.

God Bless the Queen!


08
Aug 06

Tour Day 5 – Anchorage, Alaska

Here’s Eugene reading the in flight magazine. Please notice the presence of bears on the front leaflet.
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A display case in lobby of our hotel confirmed the presence of bears.
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This is the view out my window.
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The city is surrounded by big black mountains.
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This street is called, “Arctic.”
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(more Alaska photos to come)


07
Aug 06

10 Headlines for Floyd Landis Debacle

1. “Tour de Farce”
2. “Null And Floyd”
3. “Deny-cycle”
4. “Crash Landis”
5. “Tour duh France”
6. “Steroid Floyd”
7. “Knots Landis”
8. “Bicycle Thief”
9. “Wheel of Misfortune”
10. “Real Man-nonite”


06
Aug 06

Project Runway Season 3: Random Thoughts

The first challenge was to make something out of fabric and stuff from the apartments that they had them all put up in. Without a doubt the biggest train wreck of that challenge was Vincent’s fuckin’ straw hat monstrosity. His dress was kinda nice but the straw hat was morally reprehensible and what’s worse was that Vincent LOVED it. I mean you’d have to be stupid in the head to think that that straw hat was…fashion?

Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Look at the grin on his face! He loves it.
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I don’t even know what to call it. It was a joke. That’s what it was. You say “tom-a-to” I say “tom-ah-to” and Vincent says “I have really dubious taste in design.” To me, Vincent is still stuck in the 80’s. It’s like he was delivered out of a time warp from the wardrobe department of “Desperately Seeking Susan.” Further more, Tim Gunn doesn’t like Vincent. Tim thinks that Vincent is belligerent and won’t listen to any input. How do I know that? I listen to Tim’s podcast. In conclusion: If Tim’s not down with Vinny, then I’m not down with Vinny.

My Cousin Vinny.
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The real story is Keith Michael. He is a big fat liar. I’m glad he got booted but I’m upset that he couldn’t see how he was wrong. For anyone not in the know, Keith had design text books hidden under his bed which is expressly against the rules. For shame Keith! I knew you were a cheater from the beginning. The really upsetting about Keith is that he can’t see how what he did was wrong. Floyd Landis is the same way.

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It’s bad enough that he cheated but then to deny it! Deny it? You got caught cheating man. Cop to it. Then again at least with Landis it’s not like they found the syringe. With Keith they found the books and they confiscated them and then he has the nerve to say that they kicked him out because the other designers were jealous of him and how good he was. Well if you’re so good then why do you need the books? Keith made a point of saying that the sad part for him was that he didn’t use the books to help him with his designs. Sure. Then what were they for? Tim said that the design for pants he made for the INC challenge was identical to a pattern for pants inside his text book. Go figure.

Keith Michael from “Project Runway.”
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I’m just bummed that now he’s gone I don’t really have any insanely narcissisist and manaical designers to root against.


04
Aug 06

Some New Doodles

This is the blue sky over the city.

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And this is the Brooklyn Bridge.

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02
Aug 06

Tour Day 4 – Portland

Tour Day 4: Final push towards Portland. Many moments of beautiful landscape.
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Zak told us all about the superflood and how the superflood is what causes the landscape out here to look the way it does.
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I can’t tell you anything about what a superflood is other than that Zak told us all about it and that he sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. Maybe you could Google it or something. We saw a Mountain and we thought it was the volcano Mt. Rainier…
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…but then we saw a sign which said it was called Mt. Hood. We were way less impressed by it when we realized it wasn’t a volcano. Here I am taking a nap/doing my best impression of a vagrant. We wondered if lots of crystal meth addicts lived in Idaho and if so what did they do all day? (Besides snorting crystal meth of course.)
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We arrived in Portland at around 3pm. We found our hotel – The Hotel DeLuxe which was very deluxe. It was Old Hollywood themed. The beds were like clouds. Very nice hotel. If you’re ever in Portland I highly recommend you stay in the Hotel Deluxe. They had 24 hour room service. Flat screen TVs. Very nice. We went to Dante’s to do our set up.
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Funny sign. The guys thought it was funny that it said Trainwreck next to my name. Trainwreck is Kyle Gass from Tenacious D’s band. Dante’s is a cool club in Portland.
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Storm Large performs there every Wednesday night and people love her.
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Now she’s one of the finalists on Tommy Lee’s awesome reality show SuperNova. But first we did this great show in Portland called “Live Wire!” This is Portland’s version of Pairie Home Companion. The show is hosted by an old college chum named Courtenay Hameister.
They do live sketches with old timey radio sound effects and they have poets and musicians on the show. Leo, Eugene and I each did about 4 or so minutes of material.
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Leo and I went first and were going to do Eugene’s jokes but chickened out. There was a fantastic fiddle player named, I think, Darryl Anger…that could be wrong, not sure.
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It was really fun. They asked us questions. We tried to answer them in a funny way, sometimes we succeeded, sometimes we didn’t so much. Here’s the website address, maybe you can listen to the show http://www.livewireradio.org. Then the Portland was fabulous. I’m not bragging but the show was sold out. Okay, I’m kind of bragging. Portland is a GREAT city. It reminds me of Brooklyn but on the west coast. It was very hot though too.
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Over a thousand million degrees. My nose melted off like Inspector Clouseau in Pink Panther. JK. It didn’t melt off and it wasn’t a thousand million degrees, it was only over a hundred degrees and i did sweat like a sow pig but nothing melted off. After the show we went out to a local bar and started a few fist fights. I pummeled some fuckin’ dick cause I didn’t like the way he was eyeballin’ me. I learned him somehting good. I rearranged his face. Before he met me his face was a Botticelli. Now it’s a Jackson Pollack. I’m just kidding. I didn’t get into a fight. In conclusion: Portland is good. It rains there from October to July.