Tour Day 3 – Driving From Salt Lake City To Portland

Tour Day 3: The next day we looked around downtown SLC and saw all of the amazing Mormon buildings. It’s quite a sight.
Those Mormons really know what they’re doing and clearly have a bunch of dough to spend on fancy buildings and stuff. We did a little research (aka asked someone in a bar) and found out that less than 50% of SLC is Mormon. That’s still an extremely high percentage. Can you imagine if 50% of NYC were Jews. Oh wait. I think they are.
Anyway. It’s alot of Mormons. Supposedly the rest of Utah is over 70% Mormon. Provo is something like 96% Mormon. It must suck if you’re a high school kid in Provo who’s not Mormon. I bet those kids get ostracized. Things were extraordinarily clean and pretty in SLC. The buildings are genuinely beautiful. The people are nice.
There’s a bit of a Jesus vibe but so what? We got some more iced coffee (the official of The Comedy Men From Tomorrow Tour) and we got in the car and had a long drive ahead of us. Next stop Portland.
We drove mostly through Idaho and stopped for coffee in Boise which seems like a really cool little city.
We left Boise around 8pm destination was an Indian reservation in Oregon with a casino but it was too far away and we were all really tired.
Even though we gained an hour crossing the border from Idaho into Oregon we still weren’t gonna make to the casino Not to mention the fact that there was a tournament there or something and so no hotel rooms available. We listened to Jim Gaffigan’s comedy CD in the car and laughed much particularly at the Hot Pockets section which is classic comedy.
Here’s the sky a bunch of times.
More sky.
We almost ate diner in this Chinese restaurant in the middle of nowhere. Right out of a David Lynch movie. Like we would walk in there and get gang raped by a gimp or something.

That night we ate a disgusting sum of food at a 24 hr truck stop diner in Baker City, Oregon. I had eggs, german sausage, bacon, hash browns, rye toast, and mozzarella sticks. Eugene and Leo had chicken fried steak. Zak had a french dip. We all felt sick like we might die.
We decided at some point that mozzarella sticks were the official appetizer of the Comedy Men tour. In most places we ordered the appetizer sampler and an extra order of mozzarella sticks.
Finally we camped down after a long day of driving. Obviously the folks at the hotel were eagerly awaiting our arrival.


  1. At the end of this tour, you should decide which one was better. I’m hoping it’s east coast, but I won’t be a sore loser if it’s not.

  2. question, swedish fish or red vines?

  3. 1. Boise is also becoming increasingly Mormon.

    2. The Baker City Herald used to run my political cartoons.

  4. I am so jealous reading your gernal and not getting to see you guys perform! Or eat, for that matter! Please do a surprise perf in my backyard in Philly, or something. There will be cookies.

  5. will we see an entry for your appearance on Tom Green Live?

    Would love to see your thoughts on that gig.

  6. yeah seeing food on journals does tend to bring upon jealousy. but just as long as he never posts another picture of eating ribs i will be ok… i think. cuz oh man the time you posted those ribs on your gurnal michael.. crap now i’m getting hungry for ribs again just thinking about it. i hate you. (not really, i love you to death like a big teddy bear but that’s besides the point)…yeah ignore the last couple sentences.

  7. any thoughts on bringing the tour to austin….sadly, mormon population low, but the food is good, and the crowds welcoming!

  8. I wonder if you know that your first picture on this page of the bird statue thing (still in SLC) is actually of a seagull–the state bird. Most people think that is pretty weird, since the sculpture is so large and commanding. They think it should be like an eagle or hawk or something.

    I like it as a seagull.

  9. Michael,
    It’s worth noting that Mt. Hood, like all the mountains in the Cascades, IS a volcano! so stick that in your dormant caldera and smoke it.


  10. they’ll have you suicidal suicida. Essa Morty.

  11. you had me suicidal, suicida. Mihangel Caiaphas.

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