Tour Journal (Day One…Last Monday…Er…Uh…)

Tour Day One – July 16th. (by the way, this happened last Monday)
Sorry it’s taken me so long. Internet is sparse up here! Ugh. I will keep the updates coming though. We started in Denver. Now we’re in San Francisco. We were in Portland, Anchorage, Seattle, Eugene, Boise, Salt Lake City, so much to say, so little time…but here’s how it all started last week. Flew out of JFK. Took a car with Zak and Eugene to the airport.

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Nothing too eventful. I bought a pack of Trident bubblegum and a Sports Illustrated (with the Mets on the cover.) Go Mets! The Amazin’s are good this year. Gotta love the kid (David Wright.) I remember a few summers ago marvelling at the disaster that was – Mo Vaughn, Robby Alomar, Jeromy Buritz. I mean who fuckin’ spells Jeromy like that? We had a snack in the terminal. I would tell you that I ate fruit but I didn’t. I had a meatball parm at noon. Fuck you. I don’t care. That’s what I ate. Zak has given me permission to report that he had a hamburger. Eugene has given me permission to report that he had pot stickers with hot and sour soup. Leo met us at the airport and he has given me permission to report that he had salmon and tofu. Leo has also requested that I call him by his new nickname, “Roach Motel” which is derived from a nickname I bequested upon him earlier, that being, “Leo Durocher”, the Hall of Fame Baseball manager.

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Leo has nicknamed me “Old Man River” which is derived from “Show Boat” which is of course derived from “Showalter.” Anyhow, the flight went off without much fanfare. We touched down in Denver and wondered what kind of food Denver was known for and someone suggested “Denver Omelette.” This made sense. We drove right to the venue – The Blue Bird Theater.

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I was overjoyed to see my name in lights above the marquee. I’ve always dreamed of sharing a bill with The Buzzcocks. What’s next? Echo And The Bunnymen? Aztec Camera? LL Cool J was playing a show too, down the street. We doubted highly that there was a conflict of interest there audience-wise. Not the same demo. We ate dinner at Wolfe’s, Denver’s best BBQ joint.

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The food was great. BBQ is the official food of The Comedy Men From Tomorrow. When four dudes travel together everything becomes fodder for jokes about penis or taking a crap. For instance, if someone says “Did anyone bring a hard drive?” The answer will be something like, “Yeah, I have a hard drive in my pants.” After the show we had a late night meal at Denver’s best all-night diner: Pete’s Kitchen. I had a cheeseburger. This brought my one day meat intake total to exactly one half of an entire cow.

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By the time we drove out of town we were a long gone memory.

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That’s show biz baby!

14 comments

  1. Sometimes Leo is extremely hot in your photos, today he isn’t. Get on that Michael…

  2. Meatball Parm, Hamburgers, salmon, tofu and pot stickers are the way to go. Be glad you’re in SF today because those of us who arent are suffering in 96-102 degree weather, and no power!!!!!!!

  3. I’m not too fond of Denver, myself. Of course, last time I was there was with my church and we were hanging with homeless people. I suppose you didn’t get to do too much of that. Perhaps you did. In that case, Jesus loves you.

  4. I beg to differ, but Leo looks extremely fashionista in that outfit! I love how your tour diary is more like a food diary, Showboat! No talk of how the audience responded, whether the jokes went well, or what the jokes were about for that matter, just a quick rundown of your RDA of poor moo cow. Please include pix of you as your tour diary continues. We miss you!

  5. michael showalter, jr. -

    thanks for signing my poster. i hope you get to direct a bunch more movies. you are actually good at it. everything you touch turns to platnimaluminum.

    is it hard being a new york intellectual? Just Curious. Thinking about “heading up there” on my own. I don’t know though, it’s “a place i’d like to visit, but would never live there” or so i was told while standing at time square by a bounch of “fools” from Hendrickson, MO.

    btw (by the way) do you do doos? Just Curious.

    love,

    maninamal (remember, the fat guy on stage who tried to make a joke)

  6. That’s weird a guy named liam is trying to pass himself off as “Danimal.” Nothing like someone wanting to ride the coat tails of the guy that got made fun of by Michael and Eugene. For a real picture of “The Danimal” go to http://www.portroids.com/Dan_Stone.htm

    -The Danimal

    Ps: Sorry Micheal you fuckin’ hate me but your wicked funny.

  7. sarahahahahaha

    you really tickle my fancy michael

  8. I saw your show last night in La and i loved it.Thanks for taking a pic with me.i look forward to seeing what projects you do next.And if you decide to come perform in san diego that would be great.

  9. The outfit is fashionista, yes, I agree. He’s just not “hot.” And by hot I mean smouldering.

    Wait a minute…this is a Michael blog. …Leo’s alright next to Michael *WINK DOUBLE WINK* (TEE HEE!)

    More hot pictures…

  10. Can I just say it is weird again to have a Danimal Poser on the internet.
    By the way, the real Danimal is not from MO, he is from Colorado… and I don’t consider myself fat, but more rubenesque. How strange. Again more great photos at
    www.http://www.portroids.com/stella.htm
    You can find out the true story of how The Danimal got his name at a Stella Show in Seattle a few years back.
    -The Danimal

  11. Here’s some footage I put together from the Denver show. It was great. Thanks!

  12. Woops, forgot the link above… damn

    here’s the Denver footage that I bootlegged: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnla5-h58_w

  13. My nickname for you is Murderer. Which is, of course, short for Bug Murderer, which is another way of describing “Off!” which is, of course, short for Show off, which is a slight derivation of Showalter. Murderer!

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