Yankee Doodle Dandy

From today’s NYT Sports Section: (An article about A-Rod’s bad clutch hitting)

“When you talk about the Yankees you’re talking about world champions,” Torre said. “And that’s where it all comes from. There’s that, ‘We’re trying to win the World Series, and he’s making out. You’re keeping us from getting there.’ I think that’s the mentality.”

I’d like to direct your attention to his quote, “There’s that, ‘We’re trying to win the World Series, and he’s making out…” Wait. Did he say, “making out”? What does that have to do with anything? So he likes to lock the lips with his beautiful wife every now and again. So what? Everyone likes a bit of tonsil hockey here and there. So sue the guy? Come on, folks! We don’t live ye olden dark ages anymore! We live in the 20th Century! We live in the time of cellphones and beepers and pagers and DVD music! You’re gonna shove a stick up a guy’s butt cause he likes to smooch his philly?! Big deal! How about the guy who pouring juice in his gullet on a nightly basis and I’m not talking about apple juice or orange juice or tomato juice or prune juice or clamato (clam juice) I’m talkin’ about…wait, what was I talkin’ about…oh yeah…I’m talking about steroids kiddies! The hard stuff! THE JUICE! But we wanna eviscerate A-Rod just because he got into a spit swapping session with the WOMAN HE LOVES! Can we really blame him for that? It’s the 20th Century. Get with the program. My name is Michael Showalter and I’m fightin’ MAAD (Mother’s Against Drunk Driving). “Good night and good luck.”

5 comments

  1. Edward R. Murrow

    It’s the 21st century, dahlingk. Let’s please synchronize our Swatches.

  2. I’m very upset that the one day you are in Los Angeles, I am not.

    Very upset.

  3. tee hee hee

  4. RejectedPierogie

    yeah.. there’s worse things to be doing besides kissing your significant other.

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