Tell me if you see a pattern here. These are the occupations of all the bridegrooms in this week’s (4/30/06) “Weddings/Celebrations” section of the Sunday NYT. Also, notice who has a photo and who doesn’t.

1. Tim Hall (photo) – Portfolio Manager at Deltic Assets (Investment Firm.)
2. Evan Brown (no photo) – Owns of ToolFetch.com, sells construction equipment.
3. Chris Gunderson (photo) – Assistant VP of Sales at Pershing Advisor Solutions, and investment services subsidiary of the Bank Of New York.
4. Andy Colyer (photo) – Portfolio Manager and research analyst at Sands Capital Management, an investment managment firm in Arlington, VA.
5. Marshall Holland (no photo) –Sales Rep at Alcon Labs, pharmaceutical company.
6. Sleiman “T” Zogheib (photo) – Senior Sales rep at Lighting Dynamics, a company which represents lighting makers.
7. Steve Lukes (no photo) – Professor of Sociology at NYU.
8. John Corbett (no photo) –Account Executive at Avrett Free Ginsberg, ad agency.
9. Chris Sullivan (no photo) – Account Manager at MacMillan, public relations firm.
10. Matt Bronson (photo) – Stock Trader at Stuart Frankel & Co.
11. Adrian Stewart (photo) – Mergers & Acquistions at Law Firm of Mayer, Brown, Rowe & Maw.
12. Mike Pasztor (photo) – Head of Client Services at Deriv/Serv, a New York subsidiary of the Depository Trust and Clearing Corp that processes confirmations for over-the-counter derivatives. (What the fuck is that????!!!!!!??????)
13. Greg Lowell (no photo) – Senior Manager in the strategy practice at Accenture, management consultants.
14. Dave Alcosser (no photo) – Hedge fund trader at Schottenfeld Group.
15. Paul Raeder (no photo) – Associate Director of Fund Raising at Princeton University. Until, 2004, Paul, 54, was the president of ComCapital Group, a media investment banking firm.
16. Eric Bertelson (photo) – Manager advising on acquisitions in the corporate finance division of TimeWarner.
17. Jason Hyndman (no photo) – Production assisantant on “Deadliest Catch: Crab Fishing In Alaska” on the Discovery Channel.
18. Brett Moraski (photo) – VP for corporate development and investments at Highmark, a health insurer.
19. Matt Karajannis (photo) – Pediatrician.
20. Rich Freed (no photo) – General Practitioner
21. Giacomo Picco (no photo) – Senior analyst at KS Capital Partners.
22. Dan Decelles (photo) – Director of health care group of the investment banking division of Citigroup in New York.
23. Chris Zaccone (photo) – Graphic designer.
24. Dan Sage (no photo) – Associate Professor of Math at LSU.
25. Jim Bronstein (no photo) – Associate at CIBC World Markets, an investment unit of the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce.
26. Paul Gutman (photo) – Associate in investment management at law firm of Schulte Roth & Zabel.

Some cogent stats:

Number of Grooms directly involved in sales and finance: 18 out of 26.
Number of Grooms directly involved in being professors: 2 out of 26.
Number of Grooms directly involved in being doctors: 2 out of 26.
Number of Grooms directly involved in being the founder of ToolFetch.com: 1 out of 26.
Number of Grooms directly involved in being a graphic designer: 1 out of 26.
Number of Grooms directly involved in being a PA on a crab fishing show: 1 out of 26.
Number of Grooms directly involved in being Head of Client Services at Deriv/Serv, a New York subsidiary of the Depository Trust and Clearing Corp that processes confirmations for over-the-counter derivatives: 1 out of 26.
Number of Grooms with the word “investment” in their job description: 7 out of 26.

Bonus stats:

Number of Grooms with photos directly involved with sales or finance: 9 out of 12.
Number of Grooms with photos not directly involved with sales or finance: 3 out of 12.
Fastest land mammal is the cheetah.
Alfred Hitchcock never won an Oscar.